10 posts tagged “lmao”
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Posted by HoustonATLgurl on the S2S Messageboard.
I wonder what Beyoncé would think about this one!
We've just received EXCLUSIVE news about Worldwide. Worldwide is the
third solo album by Beyonce. The album is slated for release on January
1, 2008. Beyonce has reportedly recorded over 100 songs, and those songs
will be divided between 12 albums, and a new Beyonce album will be
released each month in the year 2008 on the following dates:
January 1, 2008 - World Wide I (or WWI)
February 5, 2008 - World Wide II (WWII)
March 4, 2008 - World Wide III
April 8, 2008 - World Wide IV
May 6, 2008 - World Wide V
June 10, 2008 - World Wide VI
July 8, 2008 - World Wide VII
August 5, 2008 - World Wide VIII
September 9, 2008 - World Wide IX
October 7, 2008 - World Wide X
November 11, 2008 - World Wide XI
December 16, 2008 - World Wide XII
Beyonce will shoot a video for each song (300 videos in all, each song
will be re-done in Spanish, and 50 will be re-shot in Swahili) And she
will shoot a movie for each album starring as her alter-ego Sasha.
In keeping with the Worldwide Theme of the album Beyonce will visit 12
countries a month to promote the album. She is also having a special
contest to give away free tickets to a concert. Starting in November, if
you visit your local Kim's Korean Hair Care, if you find the OFFICIAL
Beyonce Blonde lacefront wig in the store, you will win front-row
tickets to her concert. We guarantee that this concert will be so hot,
you may leave the show on FIRE!!!
Because Beyonce is such a kind and generous person, she will be visiting
third world countries in Africa and Asia to pass out water, food,
medical supplies, and slightly worn lacefronts and freakum dresses,
because, as Beyonce says, "water and food are cool, but every once and a while, when your country is poor and in the middle of a civil war, sometimes you have to go in the back of your closet and pull out that
freakum
dress."
Keeping with her tradition of giving new talent an opportunity, for the
WorldWide World Tour 2008 Beyonce wants an all-gay band. That's right an
all-gay band She will be looking for the most talented and energetic
gay musicians to go out on the road with her. She needs the following
musicians:
- 1 Drummer
-3 Tamborine Players
-2 Whistle Blowers
-1 Person to take hold 2 flashlights, spin in a circle and, make the
Siren Sound on Ring the Alarm
She will be holding auditions in Atlanta-only. She figured that in
Atlanta all she had to do was play "Get Me Bodied" on a crowded street
and the all-gay band would form itself.
As with all of her other tours, Beyonce will be offering Gold Packages
for her fans.
For the low price $12,000 fans will be able to wave directly at Beyonce
as she waves back at them from her tour bus. No photos and videos will
be taken at the concerts, as we have found that people post things on
YouTube, even when Beyonce asks them not to. Go figure.
People who buy the Gold Package will also receive an EXCLUSIVE gift-bag
which includes: a bag of Skittles, a bar of Irish Spring soap, 2 loose
Newports, $300 worth unsold House of Dereon clothing, and 20 unsold
copies of "Miss Kelly".
Fans will be able to pre-order all 12 albums on the following dates:
-September 4, 2007
-Whatever day Janet's album comes out.
-Whatever day Mariah's album comes out.
-Whatever day Ashanti's album comes out.
Beyonce's not trying to compete or overshadow, it's merely a coincidence
that her pre-order date falls on the same day as other singers' album
releases.
A DVD-CD re-release will be done for each of the 12 albums, and DVD
from each of the 120 concerts that Beyonce will perform on tour.
So in all in 2008 Beyonce will release:
24 albums
12 movies
120 - DVDs
We will keep you posted about any updates that we recieve or you could
just wait for official press releases or statements from Beyonce's
publicist instead using Wikipedia, blogs, or message boards as credible
sources.
Entre mes exams, la fusillade de Virginia & les candidats au élections qui me saoûle, j'ai pas trop le moral ce matin. Tu n'es pas de très bonne humeur non plus? Prends une cuillère à soupe de fou rire avant de reprendre le travail
Je ne comprends néerlandais ou quoi que ce soit, mais je sais que le présentateur s'est fait virer après l'émission.
Alanis just prove it! :D
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them w ith roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hea r the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is for ever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
I laughed to that video for an hour at least.
I've laughed so much my jaws are sore :D
pay attention to every single detail & read the comments!
...but so funny & addicting!!! :D