Re: An Open Invitation to My VOX Neighbourhood

Here's my response to Patricia Volonaki's questions.

 I found the post touching by the way.

1) Have you ever experienced a very intense, unresolved love situation? A love that you wish you could revisit, just to tell the other person what you're still thinking, feeling? For example, do you have any grown children, a parent, or a sibling, perhaps, with whom you wish you had a closer or better  relationship? What about a former spouse or lover? A former friend? 

My mother and I have never been close & my father has been buying our affection forever. I have no idea of what it is like to be best friend with your parents & I’ve kind of given up on getting closer to my parents now. No matter how much I’ve tried to force a casual conversation with my mother, she always kept her distance. It sounds weird, but yeah, she does protect herself from something. I assume it’s her authority. That’s the only  relationship we have anyway. Whenever she talks to me, it’s to give instruction. & no joke, our conversation in one day fits in 5 sentences . In the morning she wakes me up, ask me to buy bread on my way back from school. Then in the evening, she asks if anybody called & later she tells me there are letters to mail. As far as my dad is concerned, he orders feelings. He wants affection, when he barely says hello the time he calls. Once a month he complaints about getting no attention from anybody. 2 days later, he sends money, then he acts nice again. When complaining is not enough, he sends more money to my brother who returns the favor by calling & being nice. THEN while complaining about me not showing love to him, he brings the brothers who care more about him than I do. I don’t know what’s worse, him thinking his money really buys nice words or my brothers taking advantage of him.

Did I mention me & my brothers barely talk. I don’t talk to my young brother who doesn’t talk to my younger brother.

Communication is not the best asset in our family & I don’t even wish it was different. I used to, but now I just don’t care.  I don’t blame anybody, though I’m sure Freud would’ve had a lot to say about my commitment phobia linked to the lack of communication in my family.

Of course I would have loved to have a “normal” family, with more sincerity & less fear, but I’m sure I could get that if I start my own family. So no regret.

4) Have you ever met a person online, through a blog, chatroom or website, with whom you’ve become very close? (A non-romantic relationship, that is.)

I’ve met someone through a friend, on MSN a year ago. We’ve never met, but it’s a detail I forget because we could spend 5 hours chatting laughing & discussing politics. I didn’t even thought we would be friends. I usually dump the guys who add me on MSN after few minutes because we have nothing to say or they are interested in flirting with me. I value this friendship, when I know I see less people like him, who are not ultimately playing games just to date me.

There was also this guy I used to talk to through a message board. I had no problem opening totally myself to him.  These kind of relationship worth much more than a “real” relationship with school mates or girls. I came to realize the people I didn’t know well enough were more able to take me seriously & be more insightful than my other friends, who always put everything as being the cause of a bad day.